1. Father Christmas still finds you, wherever you are.
2. You binned the journal months ago- and the times table grid. The kids are learning all the time but definitely not from the books you brought with you. They can tell you about the Domino Effect and the Cold War, religious festivals, causes of global warming, how to say 'thank you' and 'hello' in seven different languages and haggle like a pro, but not the seven times table. That will have to wait.
3. The best place to have an argument is in the Australian Bush- No-one can hear you scream (at each other).
4. You don't bother thinking about what to wear as you only have three outfits and one of those will be dirty anyway. The other will be beach/ city wear, so decision made. Going out? Throw on those beads you wear everyday. Voila!
5. Nothing is dirty until it begs for mercy, walks itself to the laundry place and pays the fifty cents a kilo to get itself clean.
6. People ask you where you live and you don't really know what they mean.
7. Ditto what you do for a living- then you remember what you actually did and realise that your job sounded brilliant and that it's something you'd definitely like to do.
8. The first thing you think in the morning is ‘which country are we in?’
9. Journeys by public transport take fifty percent longer than stated.
10. Your children are still surprising you every day. Our Eldest is like Dr Dolittle, I swear he can speak to the animals and has an unrivalled gentleness to living things. The Youngest can remember (absolutely) everything and charm the socks off a stone.
11. Your children treat every place as their home- think about this. It includes leaving their crap on the floor wherever they are and fighting with their brother whenever the fancy takes them. They are comfortable and relaxed everywhere and able to cosy up in anyone's lounge- invited or not.
12. Accommodation is cheaper when you don’t book online.
13. When you are lucky enough to meet another travelling family, you GRAB them and make the most of it. The children rarely meet other people in the same situation as us so when we do, its special.
14. The quality of an establishment is judged by its wifi.
15. We all sleep in the same room and go to bed together. Our plan to keep routines, put them to bed and have an hour to ourselves each night was honourable but foolish. In reality Minecraft was created for parents: it's the only chance we get to have a grown-up conversation; we have to take what we can get, frankly.
16. You only need what you can carry. Life really can be this simple.
17. Last week a Chinese woman physically dragged the youngest over a pile of bags to make him stand next to her in a photo. He has been more patient than I could have imagined he would be, but after six months of smiling for strangers' photos, that was the last straw and I don't blame him- he is done. At least they don't want to be Justin Bieber any more though, so that's a good thing.
18. The children are perfectly capable of doing an eight hour car journey if you bribe them with Jellybeans. DO expect a fallout however, as they treat the bedroom like a soft play for approximately half the length of the journey time.
19. Patience is finite, being with your family twenty four hours a day is intense. Sometimes you will want to kill eachother and yourself; that’s the time to go for a walk.
20. We miss friends and family- but it’s possible we miss our pets more.